Saturday, December 1, 2012

On Not Looking for Cows in Pear Trees

     I've been around the block a few times. The music industry never appealed much to me- after a good look or two into it. Being a "rock star" never much appealed to me, either, past the age of 35... Being "popular" on those sort of terms has never been a big goal of mine either- waking up with the whole world looking up one's posterior and judging one's every move- meh. Who needs That?
     The last year, however, has been one of shifting values and priorities. Yes, music is still what drives my life, yes, I still love to play it, and no, I have done little with it this last year for a couple of reasons. The first, achingly, is that I managed to whack my index fretting finger dead-on with a hammer while constructing a raised bed for my garden. This itself was enough to set back any plans I had for grabbing the few local gigs I might. The process of regaining my dexterity is yet ongoing, although the immediate nerve pain has more or less receded. This is called, "Learning Who You Are All Over Again."
     Secondly it has come to me just as certainly as it gainsays "Mid-Life Crisis" that my former purist wish to remain outside the pale of the "Oil-Serf Culture" has been - better or worse- an unsubstantiated moral victory which is called "winning the war but losing the battles." Peer pressure from fellow musicians- some unstated, others grudgingly acknowledged- has set me to rethink the entire idea of "just how attractive" are these Iron Ponies. So I am willing to surrender on that level, apparently of necessity, though it could yet be a while before you hear me brag about how "I finally have a license" and longer before you hear me say "OOOh I love my new Car." Cars are a pain in the ass to maintain and upkeep, & that I have been able to forego those costs has afforded me that much more money in my pocket for things I really wanted to gain or to do. An while I have not held a license I am certainly not ignorant of their mechanics nor of the skills needed to navigate the roadways. Surviving the past three years as a Silicon Valley bike commuter could not have happened had I no such awareness.
     Though it does seem a Pyhrric victory, at least I am sure my own carbon footprint in the end will be much less that of the majority of my peers, my friends, or the Rest of You. There is only so far one might take life, living with a guitar strapped on one's back, navigating the channels of traffic on a bicycle, as for one- where do you stick the amp?
     So you see, it all catches up with one eventually. Someday -not so far off I suppose- I will be unable to run across a street in a hurry- and Then I really Will want an auto. I do hope to be riding my bike all the rest of my days, however, the loss of mobility, the ability to just say "oh- so and so is playing this week, I'll drive over and join them" is too attractive, the inability to do so perhaps has dented my credibility with many of my erstwhile and respected friends and peers, anyway. So be it. I am not in this life to live up to your expectations, nor you, to live up to mine, but if I can create a life where the twain shall meet more beneficially, why not.
     I have a ways to go with all that, but the intent is there, and lest you dare call me hypocrite and Oil Serf  just yet as well, consider that I resisted it all these years. And did rather well for myself, regardless. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Le Surrealist apprécie vos pensées, comments et suggestions. Continuez-les venir ! Doigts Heureux !