Wednesday, August 7, 2019

On Bicycling 2

     Well I figured I would take a little time and revisit the topic, since the last time I wrote about this, I was still beholden to my analog bike (a Raleigh Mojave 2.0 mountain bike) - I upgraded in late 2016 to an Emazing Daedalus, which served me well until earlier this year, when an inept mechanic made it generally un-serviceable & the need arose to replace it (with a sister bike, the Emazing Artemis).
     The first of these two had a throttle-only setup, but the new one has pedal assist, and it's a wonderful help. I should note that, since acquiring an electric bike, my trouble with my knees (always aggravated by what few spills or mishaps I'd be recovering from) got much less, in fact, the electric has given me Years of Life to my knees which otherwise it would not have...
     My daily commute generally is 16 miles a day, which is easily handled by the bike's range (18-20) and speed (I've come close to 22 tops). Half of that is uphill, half of that is downhill. The trouble with the commute is that is happens twice a day (4 miles per trip) and that was just more than my poor knees could take, on an "analog" bike. I was constantly in a state of recovery and/or strain, and having to chug uphill twice a day- morning and afternoon- was certainly as much work as the chore I had to get to. Which is, being a school crossing guard, at a pretty dangerous expressway intersection with a blind corner, in Los Altos California.
     Working there I get to see behavior of the best, and worst, kinds, performed by drivers in a town which is probably the highest-rent and income zip code in the entire nation. Many of these people do drive like they are indeed "entitled" even if their entitledness amounts to merely blowing through  a guy with a handheld stop sign trying to protect their neighbors' children from their bad driving & attitudes.
     The attitudes in America still are very much auto-centric ones. A pedestrian, or a person on a bike for that matter, are still not seen as relevant and deserving respect as are other motorists, apparently. For all their civic crowing about "bicycle friendliness", towns like Palo Alto, Mountain View, and Los Altos are still full of "high-minded professionals" who want to get out on the freeways just as fast as they can, damn all the torpedoes, come morning's rush hour.

     As a bicyclist I have had my share of these sorts of comments-
     "You're too old for that bike anyway- "
(like it's anybody's business what someone else of any age does for transportation)
      "You're not a car-"
(Because I want to cut my corners here on my left turn, and you are too far out in to your own left turn lane that I will ram you the hell over if you don't respect my idiotic ego)
     "I ride a bike too, bro, so can you move over so I can turn?"
     "Wait your turn! Right now, you're just another asshole in a car!"
     (No I didn't actually say that, but maybe I should have.)

     The "war" between auto-motorists and bicyclists is apparently not over, and maybe never will, until bicyclist finally outnumber the folks in cars... But I try not to escalate it myself.
Lots of bike books will tell you "make eye contact with drivers!"
But-
that eye contact often is just what keeps the wars simmering. I prefer to make eye contact only to make sure a car turning out sees me approaching, and ring my bell. I go out of my way to be the LAST possible thing someone is going to run into on the road, and would rather you pass me up than have someone sitting "on my six" for five minutes, because I hate hearing things coming up in back of me. I always bike defensively and take these words of caution.

     "There are a lot of old bicyclists, and there are a lot of bold bicyclists.
      But there are not very many old, bold bicyclists..."
   
     You stay out of my way and I will stay out of yours, OK?
     Happy Trails.

Tuesday, August 6, 2019

AVAILABLE NOW!

By the Waters of Oblivion
a novel by Mark Lind-Hanson

available at Smashwords.com
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/952677

By the Waters of Oblivion is set in ancient India at during the lifetime of Gautama Buddha, although it concerns another, distant prince. Padmarana shocks his royal mother and father by taking a noncaste woman musician to wife, although unbeknownst to them all, she is a reincarnated apsara, a semi-divine individual bestowed with deva-like powers for transformation of earthly society. Padmarna's adoption of Buddhist principles brings him into an unprecedented situation as his former rival country's King attempts to create a unified state.

Monday, July 29, 2019

By the Waters of Oblivion (chapter excerpt)


     Jaagudar had something special in mind for Padmarana on his next visit to the tower at Landupali. It seemed that the young prince had never experienced the time of Holi was it was intended... with a mug of bhang and its concomitant pleasures. Unlike his cohorts who grew up in the villages, he had never tasted the holiday drink, for the purdah of women who clustered round his mother were ever watchful of “little boys getting into trouble.” Surely now, the prince was of an age when a little departure from the normal way of looking at things might help to loosen his spirits a little... For all that his parents had been doing in their attempt to undermine his love affair, and all the Brahmins had been up to to inflame the minds of his parents, and the whole big little world of Jharsuguda Gadh crowding in on his sense of personality...
     Padmarana rode up one fine morning on his horse, and stabled it in its usual spot. Jaadugar was sitting at his little desk in the bottom floor, with a wry smile on his face. He had already made the bhang, which now sat in a huge crock on the counter in his kitchen and he had had a few nips of it himself. But now, he offered his full mug to Padmarana.
     “Drink, my boy, for life is short, and we are mortal!”
     “What is...?”
     “This is the nectar of the Gods, young Master. Bhang, a concoction of milk and the ganga plant. It is Shiva’s blood, and his whelping-milk. It will make you see with your third eye open!”
     “Why do I...?”
     “Because, my boy, it is time you experienced a load off your mind. When I think of all the ways those people at Jharsuguda Gadh have misled you, and held you to promises you cannot keep, and expected you to live in their stilted and stuffy conditions for caste and status, I think of you as yet an innocent lamb in the hands of wolves! And here, I am offering you for today, a way to escape them!
Padmarana drank the glass, sipping it carefully. The sour taste of the milk, the sweetness of the rose petals, the indescribably spicy taste of the crushed ganga leaves... as well as the various spices and rose petals which Jaagudar has flavored it with... it was certainly a very, very tasty drink! When he had gulped the entire mug, he asked for more.
     “More? I suggest, young Prince, that you wait a while before you ask that of me. This is a powerful intoxicant! Two glasses may send you into a little head spin... I should hope you might keep your wits about you, at least!”
     “Today is Holi. I am supposed to be at the castle, and take part in their festival...”
     “Bah! Festivals! What are they but rituals for the peasants, and time for the Brahmins to reassert their stultifying stupors of stubborn stupidity! Nay, my Prince, the peasants, rest assured, are high on the bhang themselves! You only miss the crowds. And the colored dust. You can live without that. I am saying, for today, if you but sit here with me in the tower, and we recreate ourselves at some pleasure or another.... Why, it is a fine day for us to fish from the top of the tower! Would you enjoy that?”
     “Perhaps. I don’t know what I am to expect...”
     “Well, you may feel a little dizzy, but then, I will do the fishing, and you can sit in my chamber. Is that alright with you?”
     “I should hope so. I was planning to see Aruna near the time of nightfall...”
     “And so you shall, and so you shall. This will be but a mild few hours of excursion away from all your earthly duties, even, the duties you have to your love. Let me take your cloak... Here, set it here by the lintel.”
     Padmarana handed Jaagudar his coat, and as he sat warming himself near Jaagudar’s immense baking oven, he looked out the window toward the river. The horse was contentedly munching on the green shoots that grew from the river bank. Jackdaws and magpies and jays screamed laughably at each other in the morning light. Padmarana even, for a second, imagined he could understand them, and surprised Jaagudar with a crowing noise he directed toward the sounds up in the trees.
     “My prince! You can’t have come under the bhang so quickly!”
     But it seemed to Padmarana, of course, that perhaps he had.
     “Expect things to seem a little different after today, but especially for the next few hours. The bhang is like a curtain lifted from your eyes. It is one man’s intoxicant, as it is to another his toddy. You will understand why we only drink bhang for the holiday of Holi... There are few other ways to dispel the permanent cast of dreariness that the priests would like to see imposed n all of us! So be merry, be light of heart, Padmarana. Come, let us go to my chamber!”

     They climbed the stairs, up past the room in which Padmarana had studied the stars and the plants under Jaagudar’s command, up to the top level, and Padmarana took a seat on the wizard’s bed, as the wizard went to a wardrobe and collected out a fishing pole and a long, long skein of line. He fussed over the ends of it for a bit, and drew some bait from his wizard’s cape, and put it to his hook. Then, he waddled over to his little perch, the one where he often sat daily and dumped his stools into the water that ran beneath... and threw the line with hook and bait off into the rippling river below.
     “Ah, Padmarana! This is one deep pleasure I have, to just sit here and look at the river and the forest and the mountains, and not to have to turn back and look toward Jharsuguda Gadh and all the fuss it contains! For when I fish, I put myself into the mind of every fisherman that lived ever. I am only connecting myself to the great chain, and I only take what I need to eat, and to feed my friends such as you, And the great chain and the great river flow on, on ever onward! With or without us. You see, Padmarana, we are all a little bit like these fish, We swim in our bliss, unaware that there are little lines with hooks that dangle with bait to distract us from our journey on life’s river. One temptation and SNAP! you have been captured, and you are food for... whoever it is in society that has set their line on you. In your case, being at the top of the chain of Sakadwipa, there are all that many more snares being set for you. But I am leaving you this as an escape...”
     They sat silently, Every so often Jaagudar would pull on his line, and see there was no fish (yet), but then suddenly he had one. He had one! He drew in the line and on it was a six inch perch. He put the fish into a basket he kept near the passage to the little bench and laughed.
     “First one. But one is never enough, is it lad?”
     He baited his hook again. Suddenly, Padmarana felt it. The bhang had crept up on him so slowly, so unnoticeably, he hardly even saw... but now he started laughing uncontrollably, Sitting on the wizard’s bed, he slumped over, convulsed with giggles. Jaagudar looked at him, and laughed as well.
     “Ah, you see? My friend, this is what I knew you needed.”
     Padmarana was helpless now, he had fallen under the spell of the bhang.
     “Everybody at the castle is... like a duck!” he blurted, suddenly, inexplicably.
     Jaagudar looked at him with a wry grin.
     “And how so is that, young man?”
     “They are like ducks in a pond. There is a big gander. There is a cutting drake. There is my mother, all sudden and sodden in her ways... following behind... are all the others... Oh! They are a family of ducks!”
     Jaagudar laughed. “This is what I mean, Padmarana. The bhang gives you insight you never expected to get. And I am sure there will be more."
     Padmarana continued his laughing. Imagining Lalachi and Moee as the fattest, orneriest geese he had ever seen, he could see them even now, honking and blatting orders to his father. His father, who was The King!
     But the fun of the bhang was only beginning.
     Jaagudar tossed down his line again. A skein of geese were flying in the direction of the castle, The green forest showed wisps of smoke where the villagers were making their simple fires for morning meals. The day was young. His young student was accomplishing this all very well, so far...

     With Aruna clutching his waist from behind, Padmarana rode into the castle up from the market road. The horse proudly strutted, and many heads turned in the courtyard. Who was this woman riding with the prince?
     He dismounted and gave her his hand to help her down off Chaiya Bataka (Shadow Wanderer). With her hand still in his, they walked together, side by side, toward the inner doors of the king’s chamber.
     Mohan and his courtiers were gathered for lunch. When Padmarana and Aruna came walking into the throne room, hand in hand, heads went up. A gasp was heard from several of the Brahmins who usually took lunch along with the king. These were Daridar, Motee, Lalachi, and Bevakoop. Not quite immediately, but just as soon as the king had laid eyes on the boy and the girl, a cry of outrage came from the four Brahmins.
     “Mohan, you must send back all this we are eating, now! The shadow of a sudra has fallen upon your food! We are debased!”
     Mohan looked at his son and his lover. An expression of scorn and loathing Padmarana had never before known came to rest in his father’s brow lines.
     “Padmarana, who is this woman? The Brahmins are calling her sudra! Why have you brought a sudra to the palace? And why have you brought her to me? Wait, don’t say it. I can see it written on your faces. You are in love...”
     Padmarana, lost for words, could only nod.
     “Well and fine, then, my son, he is in love. And now he proposes to show off his no-caste paramour to me, his father the king!”
     Servants scrambled to grab the king’s plates and those of the Brahmins, who were gathered around the throne in a semi-circle, sitting on their knees. Motee was loath to surrender his plate, but the servants would be back again soon, with more.
     “Father, your Majesty, yes, this is the woman I love. Her name is Aruna and she is from the village of Katar-Baga. She may be a sudra, but she is from a good family. She is also a musician. I have often spent mornings listening to her and her friends as they gather by the river to play...”
     “So that is where you go every morning! Humph! I should have figured as much. And next I imagine you will tell me that you have engaged to marry this girl, eh?”
     Padmarana found himself nearly choked, now. A tear had begun to form in his eye, but he batted it back, and pressed on. He knew that the willfulness of his father was something he could not quite match, nor was his father’s temper something he ought to tread upon incautiously.
     “That is for the future, father, Your Majesty, but, yes, we have engaged.”
     Another uproar began among the Brahmins sitting at the king’s feet. Mohan shushed them with a wave of his hand.
     “Padmarana,” he said, his face now barely able to contain a certain mocking haughtiness, “You know what this will mean. Such things are just not done.”
     Mutters from the Brahmins. "No, no,” “just not done,” “tut-tut-tut!”
     “I have no idea what this will mean, your Majesty. I thought...”
     “Well, you thought. So, you thought. and what were you thinking? The son of the king of Chhattisgarh, married to a common woman, and a no-caste, at that? Do you realize what this will mean for our family? What do you think your mother will say?”
     The wrath of Queen Sasita was something Padmarana had not, in all fairness, even considered when he invited Aruna to ride to the palace with him that morning.
     “Truly, father, I do not yet know...”
     “Well I can tell you for one, Padmarana, that she will not be happy about this. But I will leave it to you to discover just what this will mean for her.”
     The news had already traveled quickly back to the purdah, where Sasita and her own group of Brahmins, cronies, and courtiers were engaged in the same meal. When Padmarana and Aruna approached the Queen, mouths dropped open.
     “It is Padmarana. And a strange woman! The sudra they told you about, o Queen! We must send back the meal!” the Brahmins wailed.
     “Yes, I see it is Padmarana. And I see the girl beside him appears to be a no-account of poor birth. And the king’s men tell me she is to be betrothed to my son!”
     Tears were openly rolling down Sasita’s face.
     “Oh, the shame! This cannot be for the Prince I gave birth to! To mock all the nobility of his line, and to marry a common person!”
     Aruna and Padmarana turned to each other. They exchanged a look, of knowing sadness. Both of them, holding back tears, gathered themselves and prostrated themselves at Sasita’s throne.
     “Your Majesty, my mother, I apologize sincerely for the regret you will face. But I have made my own mind up about this. Jaagudar says...”
     “Jaagudar! Jaagudar says! What is this, the Prince’s guru gives advice on marriage that, lest none of this house and court be consulted it should be precedent over our own family’s honor and tradition? Did you not ever realize that I had plans for you, Padmarana? I had planned for you to marry Anjali, the daughter of the wealthiest zamindar in the kingdom, and he was oh so very willing! She has a dowry that will bring you great wealth and riches! And you would wish to throw all of that away, and run off with a poor wretch...”
     Now Sasita buried her head in her arms, and two of her ladies in waiting came to her side. Rejection and spite was in their eyes, as they stroked the queen’ hair, and fanned her in the heat of the day.
     Padmarana continued.
     “Jaagudar says that if a man is in love, he should give his righteous will unto it. That there is nothing more important for a man of the world than love. It is my righteous will, my mother."
     “There is nothing more important for a fool, either!” Sasita interrupted.
     “If it means to disrupt what you have made plans for I am sorry, but, this is my life, and this is my love. You would love her, too, if you knew her.”
       Aruna blushed at the prince’s words, but she kept her silence.
     “I will take my dinner in my own room this evening. And the servants will cook me a meal that I shall eat, together with Aruna here, in my chamber. And traditions be damned! I want only what I know is the best fruit of my heart, the love I have for my love.”
     Rising, and dismissing the women at her side, Sasita glowered down at Padmarana.
     “And so you shall live with the consequences! I shall speak to Mohan about this. You go, and eat your supper, and take the girl away from me!”
     She strode off from the throne, and disappeared back to a divan that was set off behind a pair of screen. They could hear the queen’s agonized crying behind them as they left the purdah, and headed toward the prince’s own chambers.
     No one accompanied them, they were alone. And they were alone when they sat on the edge of the bed Padmarana had been sleeping in since coming from the tower of Jaagudar two years before. His bedchamber had some stools, some books, a telescope with which he would often stare up at the stars and planets with, and it was open on the river’s side to the cooling breeze. In this unlivable hot weather, the breeze of the afternoon was one sure friend.
     Aruna took his hand.
     “Padmarana, my prince. I had no idea they would react this way.”
      "I should have foreseen it. But, Jaagudar is right. A man should follow his heart and live by what it speaks to him. Their stupid Brahmins and traditions! It makes me want to weep for pity, it does.
     “Then do not pity them.”
     “But we must, of course, live with the consequences, as she says. That I am sure will not be long for these walls.”
     He looked around him. The little room had been at least as much a friend to him as the room at Jaadugar’s tower, for the time he had lived with his parents again. But the room also now took on the look for Padmarana as- just another place. Just another place where time and daydreams had been spent, uselessly, listlessly, none of it mattered. Home was where she was, and would be where she was, and the castle had never quite felt like a home.

     It would feel even less like a home when the king and queen summoned them later, after they had taken the meal the servants had brought them, and feasted, for what could be the last time, on the idlis, kir, and curried fish with bananas. The servants had brought it, and then scurried off, as if the two lovers already had something of the appearance of lepers, and bringers of ill fortune to the castle.
Padmarana and Aruna both came before Mohan again. Now, the Brahmins had been joined by Lalachi and Daridar) behind the King’s throne. Sasita stood at the king’s right hand, looking imperious, casting baleful looks to Padmarana and the girl as she was well wont to.
     “We have been talking, Padmarana. If you shall persist in your foolishness...”
     “I shall.”
     “Then we are forced to take actions. From now forward, you will not be welcome at Jharsuguda Gadh. You will live in the forest and live like the no-caste you would wish to be. You will not be welcome to come here, to sup, to revel in your silly past times, and lounge about the palace in the lap of luxury. For I am making you the head of my Rangers. You would not think I should just cast you out and not give you something worthy of my son, as a livelihood? But you have offended us, your mother and I. Making these rash choices always have a way of bringing karma back upon us, do they not?”
     Padmarana frowned. Their talk about karma, again! What kind of karma were they setting for themselves? But alright.
     Mohan continued.
     “As the head captain, of all the captains, of the forest rangers, It shall be your duty to ride the boundaries, to hunt down poachers and squatters, to keep order in the forest. You have shown yourself skillful at the hunt, therefore, you are also charged with keeping the tigers and the boars from terrorizing any villagers in our forest kingdom. You are also to keep watch for enemies, those who might take advantage of our sparse defenses, and ride upon us, whether from the north, or from the east.
     “I am sorry if I cannot wish you and your love a happy future. But in taking on this role, at least you might still keep something of your honor, from the house of Dwipa, the lineage of your ancestors, the nobility of this kingdom. Do you understand me?
     “Where shall we live, your majesty?”
     “That, my friend, will be entirely up to you. You are a clever son. I am sure you’ll figure things out.”
     Mohan clapped his hands. It was a signal for the armed guards who stood behind the queen, the councilors, the Brahmins, and all the courtiers, to come forward, and march the lovers from the throne room.
     “I may still keep Chaiya Bhataka?” he asked one of the guards that led them back through the courtyard.
     “As you wish, my prince.”
     At least some of the bits of his old life were not going away all so fast. That they still called him prince... this was something of a victory, itself.


     The stone hut that Padmarana found deep in the Ushakothi, abandoned at least a century, stood in a clearing among a stand of pipal and jacaranda trees, just fifty yards from the river. Set back from sight of those traveling the river in boats, more or less it afforded access for water for drinking, cooking, and washing, and Padmarana could also fish it if he wanted, but this, he rarely did.
     Around the hut others had made gardens in the past—locally, villagers called it “Pitapali” because it was once the home of a shepherd by that name, although its last three hundred years had seen it occupied by traveling sadhus and bikkhus, and so never continuously occupied, the garden spaces had grown back over with wild vetches and turmeric. Padmarana was riding along, with Aruna at his back sidesaddle, riding south from the wizard’s tower, when they came upon it—its small, squat, humble profile distinctly standing out from the green of the lianas and overgrowing pipal figs.
     “This! Here!” he cried, and Aruna clung even closer to him as he did, as his horse took an unexpected jump at the surprise.
     “This place! We’ll make it out own home. Our own castle. No one can exile us from, we will make it the new center of our lives!”
     Aruna meekly sighed, knowing full well Padmarana had had a speck of the villager’s lot to contend with, would be getting a full, fat dose of it, soon. How long would it be before his reckless idealism caught up to the flat reality of this—a life wrested from the land and soil, food bought by the sweat of his brow, the yearly onslaught of the monsoon and the perils it always brought along with it...
     The west side of the hut also where its entrance was, faced out toward the river. On the opposite wall was but one window, rather, a hole set in the stones that acted as a window for there seemed no way of stopping up the winds. Until they came, when Aruna hung a thick rug that could be turned aside to let in breezes.
     On the north side, the direction they rode down from, about two miles back was the village of Dumurmunda. Another seven miles below would be Katar-Baga, Aruna’s village. So she was not really all so far away, but, all of it was a good fifteen miles from Jaharsaguda Gadh.

     Around the hut, the forest was home to dozens of animals. A herd of sambal deer came by nearly every mourning. there were langurs and spider monkeys in the trees, and the forest birds made each morning begin with chatter, laughter, and territorial cries.
     “This will be perfect and all we’ll need,” Padmarana had said. Now it would be up to him to make it so.
     They brought with them not a lot of necessary supplies- they had blankets, carried on their horse, they had a small basket carrying two cooking pots, spices, and a couple of knives. The tools he would need (hoe, plow, rake, shovels) for their garden, Padmarana would trade or barter for in Aruna’s village that first week. No questions were asked of the Prince, for the news would have quickly spread through all of Sakadwipa that King Mohan had banished his own son from Jharsuguda and all he was doing had the complete support of the villagers, who, while afraid to speak ill of the king, were even more loath to speak ill of Padmarana or say anything he might construe as insulting him.
Besides, those who knew them both already adored Aruna, who has long been held to be the most talented of the apsaras living in the village. And her friends would assure she was never truly lonely, for Eesha and Kiya and Sunila would come to the stone hut to visit, often.
     When Aruna and Padmarana came to the hut, they did not being a lot of clothing with them. Because Aruna’s village was not so far, she took only a couple of saris along to begin with, but returned several times so that in end, she had most of her own clothing with her.
     Padmarana though, growing up as a noble prince, had nearly five times that many clothes at the castle, and when he left, took only the clothes he was wearing and his “ranger’s dress.” official uniform. He returned to the castle but once, to gather a heavy cloak, a robe, and four different salwar kameez. These would be his only (and most humble) wardrobe through the years of his banishment.
     Aruna also brought from her parents’ home the vina she played, often when she was solitary and alone, but more often when her friends came to visit. The morning concerts they had by the river continued, only they had moved to the hut, but Padmarana enjoyed them no less than he had before.        The girls were happy in their continued friendship and the concerts progressed without the usual explanations or interruptions of the villagers, too busy in their livelihoods to bother with traveling the extra distance to hear them.
     Padmarana’s garden, begun during the monsoon, took shape as months passed. He built barricades to keep out the sambal deer, improved the already burly stands of turmeric and mint, harvested pipal figs and other fruits from the trees thereabout, when he was not called upon to patrol with his rangers.
His Rangers were hardy, swarthy men born to the Kshatriya caste themselves and given, (in their spare hours), to dice and odd games of risk and contest. Padmarana had no difficulty in keeping them indiscipline, however, for all of them recognized his authority,. The principal chief of the mahouts, Tonkeraja. had by now become his best friend outside of Jaagudar, beyond the castle, if only because he was seen more often, and frequently.

     Whenever Padmarana was away, Aruna would sit in the shade of the stone hut on a little stone bench he had made for her, and talked to the birds. She would begin by mimicking one of the birds which would no doubt begin to listen to her, and reply. She could imitate many of the local birds including the mynahs, the sparrows, the crows and the kites. In this manner she would cajole and tease the various different birds who lived in the forest canopy just across the way.
     Aruna had begun this little practice as a child, and so far, she had not mentioned a word of it to Padmarana. This was her little daily meditation, where she could join in with the chorus of the innocent creatures who merely sing their own presence to the world. It was a wonderful way for her to feel she was connected- to the earth, to the Mother Goddess, to Brahma and the great visions that anyone could see were after all, only figments in Brahma’s imagination.
     This then was her own world view, that the great Brahma was the overarching sustainer of everything, and that all people were, and all the trees animals people and stars… were just objects within Brahma’s unknowable mind. Therein, the souls of all humanity mingled in a great soup of knowledge and folly, every state of human endeavor could be turned whichever way Brahma pleased, and all of us were no more than motes of dust in the sun rays that broke from the forest floor across to where she sat…
     Of course, there was work to do, and she would get to that. But it always helped her when she could make the time to speak to the birds. At some times, she thought the birds began to recognize her and the times of day she would sit with them, but no, the birds didn’t keep conversation books or appointment slips, the birds were there just for the sake of their birdness.
     When she was small, she had chased the kites and crows from the grain fields, but now, the pleasant songs of the forest birds and the pleasant way they made her feel was what came to minds when birds did. What she could not know, was that the goddess had chosen birds as her preferred method of letting her know things- as an apsari, and still within the realm where beneficent spirits are ordained to come to earth and help with human progress, there were chores the goddess would presume her to undertake on that behalf.
     One of these was that she were to marry Padmarana, become the Queen of the Realm, and so, be in a position to help what the actual spirit guardians of the world wanted to see done. It would be for the people that she lived, but she, as Padmarana’s wife and lover, could sleep and dream of life in the charpoy of Queen Sasita. Padmarana, by this age, had had quite enough of it. He would not live out his princedom in jealous and impatient expectation. How could he, he could tell the disdain his father now held him in just by the scornful way he had sent him out to scratch up a living from the wilderness. And so, it were much better just to focus on the needs of the Rangers, of the regions under his protectorate, and the people within them. He could rule where his father would not bother!      And in this way, he could also make more friends.
    But friendship with a prince is always, for those who are born of a lower seat, a proposition which is a double edged sword. For gaining the favor of a prince might curry the disfavor of a jealous neighbor, and those who were once friends might become rivals. The idea that there could even be rivals for the throne of his father was not something he could consider, or at least, would not consider seriously at this pint in time. Who would dare question the motives and deeds of a great king like Mohan? Who indeed, except for the Brahmin caste who stood behind the throne whispering in his father’s ears. Were they truth or lies they whispered?
     For now, the friends Prince Padmarana had were his elephant mahout, Tonkeraj, Jaagudar the wizard and the wizard’s assistant Lalnivasi, his wife, of course, and maybe he could consider her parents, and most of their neighbors, also to be “friends,” although there was still that irrevocable caste differentiation that stood between Padmarana and the people of the streets.

     As for Aruna, whose new status among her friends had been elevated to second-next -place to-God (the King), among her friends her company was sought ever more eagerly, but it
was not for several months that Aruna came back to the village and invited them to visit. When they did, the girls would sit outside on the bench and on the grassy places in front of the hut, and play their instruments as they had before Padmarana had come riding along and changed all their lives.
     Aruna preferred to play her music in the afternoons now, and afternoon ragas like Bhimpalasi and Suud Sarang became the focus of what they would improvise upon, rather than those of the early and mid morning. These ragas were a little more active, carried more insistent rasas, and left each of them, at their conclusions, happy that they had completed those particular walks through the forests of raga. Aruna began to see the forest itself as a means of inspiring her playing, alive as it was with the myriad plants and animals that she knew to be there, but made so little seen of themselves.
     And as for those animals, there were some who were drawn by the music, to stand their distance and listen, charmed as they were by the magic weaved by the band of young goddesses.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

The Prince in Local Exile


     Padmarana and Aruna slept in the stone hut for a week, during the late summer. The morning the monsoon began he awoke in a bed of sweat, although Aruna was sleeping right beside him. He dreamed he was swimming- no, drowning- in a sea of buttermilk. When he awoke, the rain had began to make a pool near the doorway of the hut. He sprung up and, ignoring the rain, grabbed a hoe and began to cut channels to divert the rainwater from their entrance. He could see, however, that this was a job which might take him the better part of the day, and he wished he had thought of it sooner, but the rains were here, and he would just have to cope somehow.
     While he dreamed of a buttermilk sea, Aruna beside him dreamed she watched a flock of birds “a hundred miles long” passing over their hut on their way south.
     Aruna watched him from the doorway called to him when she had made for them chapattis and dal­—the repast was nourishing, and he forgot for a while when he began again how uncomfortable he really was, with the rain falling on his back. He had never had ventured out into it while in the castle- although he spent many at the tower with Jaagudar doing garden work in the rain, and he had not a minded it, his dream felt so uncomfortable, that at the end of his work, when he had come in from the rain with muddy hands and feet, he collapsed onto their bed, and Aruna had to wash his extremities for him, because he fell straightaway to sleeping again, and woke up late, when the moon was out, and the clouds had passed, for now.
     Aruna was awake, then, as well, and had spent the time while Padmarana slept arranging her trousseau so that she had her wet weather things all laid out and easy to get to.
     “Aruna, we are going to have to do a few hard things...”
     “Yes, I know...”
     “We need to get some large jars to catch the rainwater, for one thing, And I need some more tools to work on making a garden... and I need seeds for plants, and we have to get them in as soon as we can. When the rains stop there will be no way of getting more water except if we walk all the way to the river, and I know, you do not wish to do that every day. Bad enough you must take our clothes to wash each week! But can you perhaps ask your father if he can spare us some seeds?”
     “Yes, love, I can ask it of him. I do not know how he will respond. Since last year when the zamindars came and took his cotton crop at less the price he thought hey would pay him, he is probably dear with the seeds we have there. But I shall ask for you.”
      When she visited her father, though, she found him irritable and more than a little upset.
“This is something which you two should have thought about sooner! I have seeds, yes, and I will part with some, mostly for the things you will need to eat, of course, but as for jars, your mother and I are hard put out for it. Perhaps you can go to Miti Adami, the potter, and ask of him?
     “I know Padmarana has some money, and he still has access to the riches of the castle, even as they will not allow him to return to live. We will find a way to pay Miti Adami.”
     ‘Everyone in the village is still shocked, you know, Aruna, that the king decided not to let you two live in the (castle with them). They will probably help you, but of course, if he greases their hands, of course, I am sure they will help that much better.”
     Emanadar, her father, went to his larder shelves and began to grab handfuls of seeds from the jugs he poured them from, which lay on shelves that reached to the roof, He made stops in six different jugs, and when he was done with each one, he poured the handfuls into scarves that he then knotted and tied. When he was all finished, he wrapped them in another, larger piece of cloth, and handed them to her.
     “This should see you both through until our next harvest at the end of the year. Beans, rice, greens, and some melons. I wish, daughter, that both of you can find some way back into the good grace of the king. I know it will probably not happen, given the king has such a stubborn way about him, but if you can...”
     He did not finish. Aruna knew his heart. She took the bag on her shoulder, kissed her father and set off for the home of Miti Adami, the potter.
     When she got there she found Adami taking a number of items out of his kiln, and lining them all up against the back wall. “There! I have just finished the order for Zamindar Zaroori Kaan. What can I do for you, my Princess?”
     “Please don’t call me that, no, not yet, Adami! I am a princess in name only, I am an outcast. And I am here to ask you a favor of my husband.”
     ”Yes, and?”
     “We are living in a small hut in the Ushakothi forest. We have no way to gather rainwater now. Can you make us, or do you have on hand, some jars which will help us through these rainy weeks to come? My husband can pay...”
     “Your husband, I am sure, can pay. But it is not a good thing which his father did to both of you! It is one thing to speak of “customs” and “the way things are always done,” it is another to turn a hard heart to one’s own flesh and blood! Bah! I want no money from the Prince! You may take what you need, and if it is more than you can carry today, I will have Gopal my runner boy bring more out to you, tomorrow!”
     Aruna bowed, for this was a rather handsome sacrifice for the poor potter to make for the behalf of a prince, even a banished one. He would be losing many rupees indeed! But she thanked him. She stuck the cloth full of seeds into one of the biggest jugs she could manage, and took up another one in her other hand. So burdened, she walked from the village back over the paths and the hills and along the river until she reached Pitapali, and the hut.
     Padmarana had spent his day preparing beds for whatever plants she might be returning with. When he saw the rice, he frowned.
     “Rice! What a lot of work that will be!”’
     ”But it will be easier because of the rains, dear!”
     “Yes, but my feet will always be wet!”
     “You would rather we had empty bellies?”
     “No, of course! But now I must create a place for rice as well. Oh well, so be it...”

      He was up early the next morning, building a paddy for the rice. Some of the channels he mad e the day before could be turned in so that they flooded it, but he was lucky that the bulk of the rains- when it would rain night and day- were yet perhaps a week away. It meant he could build the paddy as well as get the seeds in.
     They soaked the seeds in a large bowl and left them another day so that they’d sprout, and once they had, Padmarana went out into the paddy, which was about three inches of mud over his feel, and began the laborious task of inserting the seeds, some three to five at a time, into the mud beneath his feet. This took him the better part of the day, but he was heartened when Aruna came to him as he labored and bought him steaming hot tea, and chapatis. He took a break from the work and sat under one of the banana trees that rose from the edge of the hut. Here, they would need more than just their dreams to get by. They would need all the things they had learned and more, and there were always more things to learn. So many things that would never have occurred to a prince to need to know! But he was only a prince in name, now. He might as well be just another peasant.
     Padmarana noticed something as he sat looking toward the river. Along the path that ran by the river’s edge, he saw men walking. They were dressed in long robes of orange, and grey. For every five steps they took, they threw their heads to the ground, and spoke inaudible prayers, placing their forearms before their heads, then they rose, and took five more steps, while they repeated this over and over, as they made their way down the riverbank trail.
     Monks! They must be! The sight of the pilgrims making their way slowly and with such ritual left an impression on Padmarana- this would have been his life, perhaps, had he not fallen in love and decided to make Aruna his wife!
     The monks continued, slowly, and uninterrupted, and he watched them until they were no longer visible for all the forest brush, and they were gone.


     Aruna boiled water for tea in a kettle on the fire hearth. She had gathered a number of twigs and branches of various bushes and plants near the hut, and Padmarana sat looking out the window across the grass way to the river. The air was languid, simmering, hot with the doldrums of summer, and hung thick with promise of weeks of more of the same. Padmarana broke a biscuit in two, ate half, and placed the other on a plate on a table beside his chair at the window. Now the young river birds were just beginning to flock up, the first approaches of fall were hinted at. The situation between Padmarana and Mohan remained volatile and unpredictable, the son had begun to resent his father for the judgment that placed him and Aruna beyond the protection of the palace grounds, but now, Padmarana was more of a man of the people than he could ever become had he remained with the cloistered patrimony of the court. So far as he knew, his father was unrelenting once he made up his mind, and Padmarana decided to resign himself to the fact that, the future would be completely unpredictable. He was still eh heir to Mohan’s throne, this would not change, and so there was still the authority dispatched to him by Mohan among the jungle peasants, but even so, Padmarana’s status within the court was fully banished.
     And so the sooner he accepted it all, and just stayed close to his new home and wife, and took to protecting the population and the wildlife of the forest, he would have no other bad comportment to deal with at his father’s hands. The peasants acknowledged him as Prince, and as someone living amongst them, grew to favor him over the King himself, which was in the future to prove a lucky thing indeed.
     At the hut that night, Aruna made him a fabulous meal, which he took some part in preparing. Together they made rice balls, curried spinach, broiled greens and chapatis. They washed it all down with juice from several mangoes they had gathered that afternoon.\
     The night was hot and the wind was still. Only the birds echoing calls across the river, and crickets in the tall grass that wended its way to it, could be heard above the gurgle of the water.
     Aruna and Padmarana lay in the bed together, looking out the one window above them at the starry sky.
     “Did you know, Aruna, that in between the stars is a fantastic network of minds?”
     “No, I did not, my sweet. There is much about the wide world I have no such sense of.”
     “This, Aruna, is I believe the basis of us all. Between the stars are great networks of beaming energetic love. It sustains the fire of the stars, it sustains the fire in the lives of men. IT is the warmth and comfort of the great Mother that loves us all. That is what I see when I look up at the great sky.”
The Moon, which was in the sign of the Scorpion, was no mean candle as it shone down upon their hut and bounced its light in multicolored spatters across the foaming, rushing river. The branches of one of their garden vines that had wended themselves up the side of the hut was the only interruption of the clear frame of the sky beyond the window. Light grey clouds had begun to form up with a slight breeze that had come with sunset, and were now marching to the west rosy ribbed and pink above the Mahadani River.
     Padmarana gave thanks for his good fortune, marrying for love, made to feel he was shamed in his humble poverty, to the contrary, he felt glad that he was able to provide for his wife and himself and at the same time, free, with privacy, from the backbiting and sniping and name-calling that went on the with Brahmins, the courtiers, the purdah, and his Mother and Father the King and Queen, the daily gossip of the court, the mundane and often stupid concerns of those too ignorant to cherish the still space of their conscience.

     No, here he had peace, such peace as he could never have if he were to be thrust into his father’s throne, unprepared, to whatever extent that Jaagudar’s eccentric tutoring had not touched matters he would turn into deep nighttime worries. The worries of kings and men who have something to lose.
As they began to make love, Aruna clung to him and he felt a shiver through his entire spine as she led him through several levels of chakravarti. The energies in their spines merged throughout their bodies, and their passions stoked the kundalini serpent’s climb up through to top of their skulls. And these skulls too, he thought, will one day all be food for Kali’s ashes. Like the ones strung round her neck, merciless and thoughtless now, themselves just chains of beads on a string that adorned her nipple.
     The pink ribbed clouds of sunset had passed beyond the moon, but now overhead through the night came darker thick ones, and thunder. The monsoon would not arrive for another week, but the weather had begun to turn. When Padmarana finally rolled over to sleep, after considering the various concerns that went through his mind… the garden, was it properly tended? The grass for the cow, was it still greening? The different sacks of provisions, were they all stored carefully and neatly in the tiny stone hut’s pantry? Finally, all resolved that whatever he might be missing now, he was doing his best as a husband, he shut his eyes to the world.
     Padmarana finished his garden in the coming three weeks, all the while complaining about the mud caked round his ankles and the almost incessant rains, working while they were light and returning to Aruna’s side, in the warm hut, when they were torrid. Soon, his rice plants were half a foot tall, and sticking up green and flat against the backdrop of mud puddle and paddy. The other plants had sprouted as well, and bean vines began crawling up the several poles he and Aruna had staked around the sunny side of the hut. Everything else they had put in was beginning to show leaf as well, and it would only be for these ugly old rains to stop, for them to feel they had actually made something for themselves, here, out of nothing.
     For nothing was all that King Mohan felt the need to do, in favor of his son. Along with his work on the garden, Padmarana was still expected to groom his troops, inspect the forests and the borders, attack and seize any poachers he came across, and keep up good spirits in the numerous villages that rested between the river, the greater jungle, and the river at the northern border.
     Padmarana would spend those hours with the rain falling outside to clean his saddle and his sword, and as he was still prince, the small feathered crown he would disdain wearing, lest he were traveling to the villages. It was on those occasions when looking princely was something diplomatically needed, and while many of the villagers knew of his new condition, living outside Jharsuguda Gadh, just as many likely did not, and he needed all the powers of impression and persuasion he could muster.
     There were, of course, problems in the villages, problems that were rarely, if ever, brought before the king, mostly handled by the local village headmen, all elected by their peers, and serving, more or less, until they died off. In the village of Beura Padmarana came across a family who had had all their banana trees smashed and fruit stolen by marauding monkeys, and while the monkeys were somewhat looked on as “holy incarnations of Hanuman” and given wide berth from most human brickbats, Padmarana decided he would need to take action, lest these poor peasants (who otherwise had little in the way to support themselves) should starve over the coming months.
     Padmarana rounded up a number of his forest rangers, and set about making traps and snares for the monkeys, baiting each one with papayas and bananas. Within days, they had arrested over seventeen monkeys, and Padmarana ordered them cages, and ferried to the other side of the river, far from the village, out of the forests. It would not be meet enough to allow them to be hunted by their natural enemies, the panthers and leopards, for these monkeys had already succumbed to the attractions of human life, and would only cause more commotion.
     “Let them cause commotion across the river, where the people are not under my powers of command,” he told the troops.
     The villainous monkeys were taken in several large cages, screaming and screeching their defiance at relocation, and the rangers took them to the river near Jharsuguda Gadh, where they found two or three ferrymen to take them over to the other shore.
     “They will not dare to swim back across, (captain of the rangers) said, “they will find a new life, and make it some way.”
     When Padamrana visited Jaagudar the next time, he told Jaagudar what he had done.
     “This was something of wisdom on your part, my prince. For you did not think to just slaughter the monkeys. Such a thing would well be in the grasp and mettle of your father to do. But you removed the irritation from the people, and you spared their lives. Excellent thinking, young man!”
Padmarana blushed. He could only hope his future decisions could be as full of benevolence.

     Aruna’s sleep in the stone hut on those nights she was alone, and Padmarana out amongst the forest and villages, was never broken when the rains came, or even thunderclouds stole over the moon and broke their trumpets against the stillest hours of the night. And as the rain fell, often if Aruna were laying awake staring at the ceiling, she would sense the presence of the highest goddess of all the apsaris in the realm, Saraswati herself.
     “Fear not Aruna, for I am giving you and your friends the ability to make many changes, many changes in your land. The prince will prosper, and there will be strange energies, but rest assured that both your time here in this shepherd’s hut, and his time away from the palace of his father, will not be long in years or in your time. And I am giving you the talas and the ragas you will need, and you can use to bring harmony amongst the people of the citadel, and farther, along the river and through the deep forest lands. All will come to recognize the power of your realm and the rightness and compassion of its rulers. But that day...”
     Aruna lie there, startled. What day? When? What was this? The goddess was telling her not to worry. But worry about what, and for how long? All these things both mystified and annoyed her.           While Aruna was belittled, and turned away from the court for her “non-caste” family and parentage, in actuality, amongst the apsaris, Aruna was the chief of all the music-spirits which dwelled in Sakwadwipa. Even more than her friends, who had also reincarnated to the villages of the Ushakothi, Aruna alone had the power to communicate with certain animals, particularly the birds, and with the goddesses themselves. Many lifetimes she had conquered the base desires of fame and fortune What fortune now came her way- betrothed to the future king of Sakwadwipa! -was that which she had earned. Although her mind was not far from one of your typical village maiden, she also was quiet, pious, and attended to her elderly parents most dutifully. When she and Padmarana had been banished to the forest of Ushakothi, she took it lightly, for she knew that every situation we hold in life is but temporary. The temporary may last days, or years, but nothing is ever what we felt it might have been yesterday, and the wise move along with slow surety toward their goals, regardless of the obstacles made out of cloth lying back in the past.

     For Aruna, the ability to speak to the goddesses was not something she had actually ever sough. More, if she were praying ,the goddesses themselves might take it upon themselves to intercede in her prayers, and correct her in the manner or ends which she sought so ardently. The prayers she prayed were for: good health for her and her husband, and most of all, because of his position, and his future one- his safety. And for the rains, and for a good harvest, and that the forest animals would not make mincemeat of their garden, and for the health of her old doting parents, bless their hearts. And then she would pray for her friends, and the parents of her friends, and then, singly for each person she knew well in the village, for they were all bearers of a significant and localized karma, and whether or not any of them knew it, they would all play a role in the new Sakwadwipa, which would be founded on the kingship of her husband, but in their future life.

     Expectations for their future life were rare in her mind, although they were never entirely absent. You could not say Aruna was without any ambitions at all, but that these ambitions were yoked to the idea that she was put here by the goddesses to both serve their common muse, and change the dharma of Jharsaguda and the Ushakothi woods people, and that there might ever be peace within this kingdom, so long as she had life to live, breath the breathe, and stars in the darkened sky to walk beneath.
     For now, the goddess had vanished into the mists of the river fog, and as the rain ceased and the little frogs made their creeping, creaking chirps to welcome the first signs of dawn, Aruna realized there was little she could do that would arrest her fate, whatever that was to be.
     And so she sighed, resigned. Something and someday, the goddess says. Well let us see!


Saturday, April 27, 2019

Wildflower Seed


      It was a turn-down day at the side of the Coast Highway and Derrol was sitting on his pack, staring at the Queen Anne Lace growing at his feet... the flushing whiz of the passing cars found him rubbing his thumb against his jacket... wouldn't any of them stop? The cold winter wind and grey overcast fog, unusual for this time of year, only made his desire for a lift more urgent.
     O, the mild and raging child, he waits at the side of the road. Meeting yourself at this point on the roadside, like a stranger you never knew.
     “ I’m not your little daisy” he sang to himself 
     “I’m not the one you thought you knew.”
     He plucked a little on the mandolin which hung around his neck by a green braided cord.
     The destination was the home of a group of people he had met a couple of years before.
     “I once knew many who turned their genitals into bicycle seats, in the service of the corporate gears, they were but ground beef in its cogs, with some rapidity.
     “But leading hippies to work is like fitting shoes on kangaroos.”
     Derrol was not stupid, either, even if he was sometimes deluded. He had a full wallet, last week’s pay stuffing it to the gills, so far as he knew. It was time to exchange green energy for green energy.
     The hash pipe was going round the table when he got there. A nice dude in a silver Corvair had stopped, and they had floated along in the space time continuum, the relativity of the passing highway fences like the blurry wings of a flight of swallows.
     Past the Pizza House, the Rattan Chicken Coop, the Femur Arts Collective, the Corvair cut as if a cutlass through the misty fog, headlights diffusing in the headwind. As they passed the Post Office and Liquor Store he cut the car into the parking lot, to buy a fifth of bourbon and pack of cigarettes. Just another half mile, and he dropped Derrol at the edge of the highway where another street, across the highway, led out toward the ocean. He made a left turn under a pair of century-old cypress, and there he was, at the Tarantula House. The concrete patio clicked beneath his boot heels.
     The Tarantula House was so named because one year, a tarantula came climbing out of the peyote cactus growing on the hearth of an old stone fitted fireplace. It had been home to a revolving panoply of characters over a five year period, some staying the entire time, some coming and going over shifts of two to three years, on average.
     Andy and Darcy were Derrol’s longtime connections. The couple grew a little in their henhouse, disguised with some one way glass utilizing an open–sun roof, as the rest of the spread was at the mercy of a flock of chickens. Darcy and Andy were free-lovers, meaning all and anyone might be subject to a hug, or an invitation to soak in their wooden-shingle hot tub. Their marriage was more open than Pandora’s Box, and attended by about as many goblins. But Derrol was one of the high points, the friendship went back years. Along with the Andy-Darcy Axis were Melange, Nuestra Starre, and Sandra, three single, unattached, and frivoluous women, indulging their freedom in the only way that could be done in the pre-HIV/AIDS era.
As Andy handed over the hash pipe, Melange caught Derrol’s eye.
“Hey there dude, nice to see you again!” she winked at him. Within a few more moments, as Derrol blinked, she seemed to be outright leering at him. She flexed the muscles in her thighs, highly visible beneath a tight corduroy skirt that ended somewhere south of her upper thighs, but just only not very.
     He winked back, took a hit off the pipe, and passed it to Nuestra on his right.
     She began laughing, as she spilled out a billow of smoke which ended leaving her pursed lips in staccato bursts of white-grey smoke cloud. The wisps surrounded her curly hair like the halo round that of a saint. Only her saintliness was underdone, and her main ken was a wanton one. She pumped her legs, shook her ass at him, and giggled.
“If I was you, brother, I’d take on Melange. She’s got in in for you, you know. “
     Derrol looked up. “Really?” he thought. “I’d be lucky as a duck on an ice-cream truck.”
Melange followed his eyes silently, and slowly blinked, herself.
     “Tonight is our Peyote Night, Derrol you came just in time.”
     Darcy drew Derrol a glass of red wine from the half-gallon wine jar that sat at the center of the upturned telephone cable spool which was the dining room table. Darcy took a shoebox from her seat and began counting out peyote buttons for as many as there were, four per person. The hash pipe had made another circle and Derrol smiled as Andy began regaling him of current exploits. He held before Derrol a block of hashish in the form of a shoe heel. It had made it past customs as the sole of someone’s four inch platform disco-heels. Derrol placed a roll of his pay- a small portion, although, in relation to what he was not taking out, as quite a large percentage… and Andy began to work the piece of hashish with a pocketknife. Derrol was patient, and while he watied, Melange and Nuestra Starre kept working him up and down with their eyes.
     "It’s Afghani” said Andy. “Brown. You will see how well it powders up when you want a bowl of it.”
     Derrol thanked Andy and slid the hunk of hash into the side of his own boot. It could live there for the next day or two, when he made it back over the hill in time for another week of avoiding classes.      The peyote was going round, dried apricots and orange juice and water as well as a number of hand-rolled cigarettes went round as the partakers took their turns at button, juice, apricot, drag of cigarette, around and around until each had consumed four buttons and the magic- or trial- was about to begin for them all.
     Amazingly on this round, nobody threw up. Most had had the cactus before, and had begun researching other delicti cacti such as St John’s and Diego Padre. So none were tenderfeet, an this helped the cameraderie considerably, since nobody would feel the sense of betrayal of many a novice, who ingests and resists the urge to puke and let the medicine clear the mind.
     With internal retinal starbursts and constellations, the medicine cleared the mind.
     Melange curled up beside him in the empty space to his right on the eight foot couch.
She began rubbing herself against him, licking his ear and his neck, and soon they were wrapped around each other like a pair of cobras, It would not take much more to get Derrol spinning in his sleeping bag.
     So she led him by the hand behind the glass door to the room just off the living room which was hers. She pressed a button on a ghetto blaster cassette deck, and the sound of Shine On Crazy Diamond by Pink Floyd came on.
     With each rippling blast of Gilmour’s guitar, she pulled off another bit of her clothing. First the turtleneck sweater. Then, out of the just-barely-south of the upper-thigh; tight hiphugging skirt, then the brassiere, and lastly, her panties, now showing the slickness of her excitement and urgency.

     After they had balled Derrol dreamt as he slept in her arms, the peyote visions of his dream seeping in; being indistinguishable now from the waking lands. Benjamin Franklin sat in a chair at the table, his enigmatic smile-frown glancing back at Derrol, unperturbed.
     “ I had a few myself, “ said Ben. “As well as a pipe of that hemp conserve. I am now happy to say you have brought me to a new understanding of insight.”
     Franklin bowed, and stepped out of the doorway. Sunlight in a bright ray flooded down, and Derrol’s mind’s eye shaded it with a free arm, as though he were watching the arrival of the Extraterrestrials. And the next thing he knew…
     In the morning, after he had fucked her bowlegged all night and they had slept the sleep of babes, and she now hobbled around the yard between the main and the hen houses, Derrol came up behind her and gave her an affectionate, gentle squeeze on the ass. “That was something else, thank you.”
     “No, thank you, gentle traveler. Would you like to spend the day out near the cliffs with me?” The coyness in her glance and her dipping eyelashes completed the cow’s moo she played to his rousing bull.
     “Our Lady of the Cosmic Sea”,” he prayed, as they sat at the edge of the cliffs and began the picnic they had made from a few additions from the store and a number of items off Melange’s shelf,      “Please grant us the serenity to accept our minimal immunity and maximum vulnerabilty to the slings and outrageous arrows of our fortune. May we tune our selves to Your Guiding Star, and lead ourselves back home to our Source deep within Thee. Thanks for lunch, Amen.”
     She held his hand and they sat together silent, watching the waves together, for a very long time.
They demolished a loaf of fresh french bread from the bakery in Half Moon Bay and drank a quart of wine and it was not long before, as though materializing from the mist and the wooded green, Nuestra Starre stood before them, a bottle of her own in hand. She walked tipsy through the portulaca at the edge, considering what a swan dive off the edge might do to knock these two chuckleheads together. Pole dancer, striptease artist, and girlfriend of Darcy and Andy’s resident photographer, Lars Darndorff, Nuestra Starre actually contributed the majority of the rent on the backwater farmhouse, and brought a ton of hardcore energy with her when she had moved in. Not that anyone around her were gangsterish enough to deal in automatic weapons. But they were rough customers regardless, with a fondness for black leather, brass knuckles and switchblades, and Harley motorcycles.
     One afternoon the Fronteros- that was their club name- were hanging at the entrance to the spread, pickin’ their teeth with switchblades, thumbs in belt loops, chewin’ the fat with the local dogs., and Nuestra Starre came out of the house and told them all to split, that these hippie freaks was cool, and only to come around if she is doing a shoot, or something. That worked, and just like she planned it, the protection only hung out when Ms. Starre’s microphone-and-videography boom team were by. Which came about once every two weeks. Derrol had never seen one of these, but Darcy and Andy certainly had. Nuestra’s videography team were, in fact, some of the goblins out of Pandora’s box.
     So now, Nuestra had her fun getting high with all of the residents and the residents didn’t have to fear the heat of drawing scrutiny of local law enforcement. No, everyone was about as far away from the surveillance state as they could get, except for when planes flew over forom Half Moon Bay airport to get a good look at the women sunbathing bare-chested on hot clear sunny days.
     And now, Nuestra Starre had joined Derrol and Melange in a menage-a-trois. If Derrol could manage this, he would be luckier than two ducks driving two ice cream trucks.
     “Nuestra, I wonder if you could help me- um- adjust this here?”
Melange was pulling on the strap to her wraparound blouse. It was looking more and more to Derrol like this was meaningful seduction, intended perhaps for his pleasure, but also, maybe more for their own. As the girls kissed Derrol remembered he left some hash in his jeans. He took out the little stone and the pipe and lit up. Over across the tidepools at the entrance of the cove a small trawler was parked. The overlook was brightened by the high sun- yesterday’s inclemence being forgotten in the morning, when they all had sat on the patio drinking after-peyote coffee. Sharing tobacco from the can which sat on the coffee table with a pack of rolling papers for anyone to pinch at need. Sharing more of Andy’s product. A bong as long as an arm served with the coffee and fresh melons and people discussed what thing had meant for them. Derrol recalled meeting Benjamin Franklin in his dream, and everyone laughed and said,yeah, for real, too much, he would go to a peyote meeting, wouldn’t he? Otherwise, he had lain all morning in the bed with Melange, in several varying positions and arrangements befitting two ingenues of the Kama Sutra. Until the light was out and the dew had begun to puddle and the daylight blinking off the green leaves of the cypress left indelible impressions on the brain.
Derrol plucked on his mandolin as the women made out in front of him, but soon, Nuestra had shut off the mandolin by insisting his membership should come to the party, and the afternoon was passed, in plain and public view, the enjoyment of three blips in the pod on the cliffs by the high sea in the midday winter sunshine.
     Meanwhile, Candy Kane-- stuck her tongue in Patricio's ear, sucking and probing, before withdrawing with a playful bite...Patricio's mind was in confusion. Was the parting bite a tease, an invitation, or was it a warning of impending danger?
     A hand, which was Andy’s, grabbed Patricio by the collar, and dragged him into the living room…
     Where he was greeted by the sight of every female in the house disrobed and the SXLR camera of Lars Dorkendorf whiring and clicking like a pulsating hummingbird.
     Patricio had one half of the back half of the Tarantula House, in a room with a dutch door opening out toward the goat pen. The onus was on ‘em. The women were like caged tigers, waiting for their meal of men. It was over pretty fast, the lionesses licking their chops at the spilled lengths of the men in their cups, all of them, from Andy to the Dorkendorff home video tripod, every male was erected, and had been erected only to feed the belly lust of the pride. They purred in contentment, no more contentions, and that night the house was quiet, with the highway bleeding on behind them until rooster crow the next day…
     The men woke up the next day, disoriented, ashamed, and shattered. They had been used, abused, sucked dry, and thrown aside, like so much trash... Never before had any of them ever felt so exploited and objectified. The scene had been so wild; the women had been so vicious- Pat would need many years of therapy before he could even have a normal conversation with a female...and he knew that he would never trust a woman completely, even if she was Mother Teresa. 

     Life is hard…
     as hard as the rocket in the pocket…
     The house steamed in the early morning light…
Derrol had no such problems. The morning after the second night of the weekend, he had been up early sorting out his pack in the kitchen, when Lori came in. Lori was nine years older and trying to  make up for lost time. She walked into the kitchen, took out a skillet and a wooden cutting board and began to slice vegetables while Derrol rummaged his stuff. He hid the hashish a little deeper than usual, so that it would  be hard for him or anyone else to get back into. This would be the afternoon he went home, and he needed things in order just to know they’d remain that way.

     Lori’s long skirt was soft cotton and her ass smooth against it. Her legs smooth against it as well, and the tilt of her nipples perking beneath her tank top was having quite an effect. She noted him noting them. Without saying another word she lifted one of her ample breasts out from beneath it and was offering it to Derrol for his taste.
        Obliging, he took it in his mouth and rubbed his tongue across its swollen aureole. The morning was breaking and the coffee bums would soon be up and clamoring but Lori wanted to share what she was having with him, as well as, continue where she had let off with him the night before. At least where she thought she had. She shrugged him off and began working once more on breakfast. Into the skillet, she dumped a pile of freshly diced onions. After these had sweated awhile, she ladled in a bean, rice, and lentil mixture she had prepared a day or two ahead, and had retrieved out of the fridge. She poured more olive oil over the top of this. After that was smooth, moving and bubbling, she piled in some green vegetable leaves out of the garden and some fresh basil. Then she lowered the heat, put on a lid, and cooked it, stirring it now and then. When she poured it out onto his plate and served it with a piece of fresh bread and a pat of butter, Derrol was in heaven. This was breakfast for a king, done up poor man’s style. And undoubtedly healthy.
     After their meal, they took their own stroll out to the cliffs by the ocean. And something like what happened the day before happened to Derrol, again. This time it was no interruption from Nuestra Starre (who lay back at the shack, hunkered deep down in her bed, sleeping away morning, until sun was tall overhead) but they were met by Patricio and his friend Jock-O.
Jock-O was something of a gadfly lumberjack. At least he was a lumberjack when he was up north, in the Salmon River country, but down here on the Coastside, he was Mad Jock-O, prone to answering the doorbell in his birthday suit. He liked dividing his year into : Summer in the Mountains, Winter at the Ocean. The Tarantula House was owned by his mother, who, being sensitive and empathetic, often visited the place to party with the inhabitants, if all were in the proper mood. Lori found Jock-O insufferable, and wasted little time letting Derrol know.
“Well, you see… he isn’t exactly MY friend, he’s Patricio’s.”
     “I think he’s a little rough around the edges”
     “Like a spiky chainsaw, that’s for sure.”
     “Well, Patricio is one thing, but he’s another. I’m goin’ back to the house.”
Lori gathered up her jacket and her thermos and began walking back toward the Coast Highway and the Tarantula House. That left Derrol to stare toward China with Patricio and Jock-O. They were seated at a picnic table someone had dragged there on a whim, and set back about twenty feet from the cliff ledge. Patricio got up to stretch his legs. As he walked to the ledge, and looked down over, he spotted a man and woman lying together in the portulaca which covered the small rock shelf about twelve feet further down the cliff face. The man was naked, and his loins were working with the woman, and she was moving beneath him, and her eyes met Patricio’s-
     And she smiled.
Patricio smiled back, and she gave a short half-knuckled wave as the man continued his grooving and she continued her own, breaking off the moment. Patricio smiled, felt a little lucky, like, the universe is on my side for once, today, I’m lucky…
Derrol was sitting at the table and Jock-O had walked over to be with Patricio. But when Jock-O saw the couple it was a whole other story.
     “Hey, hey! Yeah!” he shouted, “Now That’s what bein’ outdoors is FOR!” And Jock-O began walking down the trail toward the ledge, As he did so, the couple were hurriedly rushing to put on their clothes. The man was hopping into his jeans, one leg at a time, trying to balance and at the same time not fall to the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. Jock-O continued to make his way to the ledge, but as he did so, the couple finally were confident they could move and ran past him, up the hill, and the smile dropped from Jock’O’s face, as he realized they were not in any mood to share their fun.
     “Man, they were cool, ‘til you did that,” scolded Patricio.
     “Shit-fire man , that chick was HOT!”
     “I thought she was kind of nice.” 
Said Patricio, feeling his disappointment. Now he felt like Jock-O had blown wide apart the trust that the woman’s smile had brought into his mind, and now, he was just another dork like Jock-O, swaggering an hollering his way through the minefields of life.
Derrol had watched the entire thing, or what he could see of it, and shook his head wearily at Patricio as Jock-O had turned his back to take a piss off the cliff. It looked like the afternoon might be a waste. Derrol decided to turn around and walk back to the house. They left Jock-O on the cliff edge, thumbing his nose at the Red Chinese.
     When they got back to the house, they found Andy and Lars the Photographer hanging in the living room with a large fire going, and Beauricardo, a friend of the house from San Francisco, their spade-cred black-hippie-queer friend, was sitting in a rocking chair by the window looking over the creek. “Hey, Patricio!” Beauricado rose from the chair and walked to the doorway where Patricio and Derrol looked in, and hugged him. Beauricardo was affectionate without being cloying, or putting on moves. The Photographer and Andy were looking over a proof sheet from the orgy pics that had been shot the night before.
“Oh, this one, this one of Lori and Darcy- shit!”
“:And that one. Darcy trying to get her arm around Pat’s leg. Hah!”
“Let me see there…”
     Patricio moved closer to the table to observe the pictures. He began to feel like a bird in a cage, or a fly trapped in amber, like his bliss somehow had been captured and preserved to spend a century waiting as flotsam on the shore until someone came along- (some pervert, out of Photographer Lars’s SCREW! magazine collection) and took the moment to incorporate into their own brief wet moments… But these were not bad.
     Darndorff liked using Nuestra for her sexiness, but he also enjoyed funny juxtapositions of people and other people’s organs and genitals and limbs. So this picture, Pat thought, was amusing. In an annoying way. He knew the photographer’s tastes all too well by this point, he’d lived there a good eight or nine months already.
     Beauricardo lit up a pipe of Andy’s hash and passed it to Derrol, who had moved in closer to the fire.
     “You been up to see Crosby last week?” he asked.
     “I did. Derrol didn’t. Some of these folks went.”
     “I seen Crosby one day he was toolin’ down 1 in his red sports car. I waved. He didn’t stop.”
“Well it’s another world folks like that live in. They might be our ‘brothers’ from up on stage, but not brother enough to spare a lift.” Derrol was more than annoyed at the thought of leaving in another couple hours, and dealing with the trip home over the hill maybe needing to take just as long. This was a weekend and most of the traffic would be families in get-back-home mode. Few would be stopping for hairy single males who looked like refugees from the Three Penny Opera.
     His mandolin sat on the hearth, and he picked it up and began playing. From the room in the rear he could hear Lori and Nuestra fighting. They were annoying, catlike sounds, but at least everyone knew the two women would be back at peace in minutes. One of the problems of the Tarantula House was a condition of privacy. While it might not matter to some people who craps while they are showering, for some people, crapping while watching someone shower isn’t the first best choice.         They’re both captives to each other, for the duration.
     The other problems usually arose over who left what in the refrigerator and who was entitled to it when and why. If things were not clearly labeled with a pen and tape then anything could be up for grabs. And the whole gang chipped in together many nights, which would leave a giant bowl of leftovers anyone could go for- except, usually, when someone did, it was someone like Derrol who wasn't planning to make another market trip soon, and was only overnighting.
While Andy and Lars continued perusing the large stack of proofs and Patricio sat at the fire, reading a newspaper, Beuaricardo knitted a wool sweater for his mother. The two women in back had shut up, but now, Melange and Candy Kane were coming through the year, carrying an enormous laundry basket filled tall with clean clothing. Everyone had decided to throw laundry together as well, and the two women, each week, made the round the horn trip to a coin laundry in Half Moon Bay to wash and dry the clothes of all the Tarantulans. 
     “NO, we don’t fold them!” they explained, and so the wash day ritual finished with everyone rummaging through the baskets until they had retrieved everything they contributed, and usually there always was some stray sock or a t-shirt someone didn’t recall that sat all week in the basket and ended up in the next go round.
     Melange dumped the clothes into a pile on the couch, and flopped down beside it. “I am beat, man”
     “You so beat, the eggs in the kitchen are nervous” chuckled Beuaricardo.
     “That’s what you think, faggot!” Melange laughed. Her bicep tattoo rippled with a quick flex of the wrist. “PUMPED!” it read. But she was no body builder. She was one of the most feminine people Derrol had ever yet met, and on top of that, she liked him. The tattoo was ne of those unadvised adolescent whims which some people are prone to. It signified absolutely nothing relevant to her current life. She laughed at Beauricardo mockingly. “Boy you sure ain’t much to write home about- you ain’t even that much to ride home on!”
     The other males around the room laughed or supressed chuckles. Beauricardo didn’t mind, he had known much worse abuse. He sat back and quietly kept knitting, listening to the records he others played on the stereo. Eventually, he got into his own sportscar outside and left.
     When Beuaricardo left, another guest showed up. This was Pippi, Derrol’s friend from UC Santa Cruz. She was a German exchange student. She lived in the hills of Soquel, a small wild woodsy little place just south of Santa Cruz, a blip going by on the highway. Pippi wore orange clothing every day and had a locket with the guru Rajneesh on a string of wooden beads worn round her neck. A pair of regulation People’s Republican Army slippers was on her feet. She had curly blonde hair, blue eyes, and an intense love of nature. She enjoyed the visits to the Tarantula House as many others did- in fact, besides the people who lived there, an average of about (at least) twenty other guests would be in and out over the course of a month. She carried with her a bedroll and small knapsack with the Tolkeinian rune ‘L’ for Legolas embroidered on the flap. She carried her own little hash pipe, and being German, had the bad habit of always smoking her hash with a bit of rolling tobacco. The fact there was always a large tin of free tobacco at the Tarantula house apparently had an appeal for a lot of the broke smokers of the coastside who were part of the Tarantella Circle.
     She gave Derrol a hug and immediately started in with Andy making a deal for her own little hash rock. That being transacted, Andy disappeared into his room and came back laughing loudly.     
“Happiness is finding a gram of weed you didn’t know you had!” and held three large buds spread in his palm. He set them on the rolling and cutting tray that sat beneath the stack of photos, setting all of them aside. Lars demurred and began collecting them to withdraw back into his own lair.
Pippi had a love of nature. This she affirmed at any chance, either fully disrobing or more often, just baring her chest. Andy and the others saw so many tits per day, it was nothing. The fact that their friends might come from miles around just for the chances to do it didn’t phase Andy either. The more the merrier. Hell, the world should let go. Clothes were for protection from the wind and rain. When there’s no wind and no rain what the hell.
     Now that Pippi was here, Derrol contemplated the wisdom of leaving so soon. Perhaps he could stretch things a couple more hours past his projected departure. It would mean getting home after dark, but an afternoon with Pippi was better than an afternoon alone. So he decided he would stay, at least until closer to the six o’clock limit, when the light would begin to fail, and drivers would get even more cocoonish. Pippi dug into her knapsack.
     “ Here, this is for you! Thank you for letting me read it! I love it!” The book was Big Sur and the Oranges of Heironymous Bosch, by Henry Miller. Derrol had lent it to her eight months before and forgotten it completely. In that time Pippi had read it four times.
     Derrol and Pippi went back. They had met in Santa Cruz on a day Deroll had spent busking for change on the mall. She dragged him over to a free spaghetti feed and by evening’s end they had shared a bottle of wine, weed, and a bed. It was very chummy.
Now here she was, and handing back the Henry Miller book. It had become something of a crusade with Derrol and Patrick, turning friends on to these various books which had livened the long dreary fogbound afternoons inside the fishbowl of the Tarantula House.
The Tarantella Circle had basically composed itself of friends of friends of friends of people who had traveled the highways, north south east west, from Vancouver to San Diego and SF to Philadelphia. Andy himself had the habit of picking up hitch hikers and treating them to some of the house’s utopian blessings. Derrol had also given her a copy of Be Here Now, but when he visited her he found he had been surplussed, as she already had that book as well as three other books by Ram Dass on her shelf as it was. Not to mention, everything Rajneesh had ever wrote, and even Gurdjieff’s “Beezlebub’s Letters to this Grandson.” They had hung out frequently for a number of months until one weekend they went skinnidipping together in the local big river and got busted. Pippi had almost ended up deported, and at juts that time, her Heimlat byfriend showed up, and that was that for Derrol in Pippi’s bedroom. But not before they had scared the neighbors once or twice with her sighs and moans of delight.
Bob Dylan and The Band were now screaming out of the stereo “…but you know you could be WRONG!” 
     Pippi loved them. So did Andy, and most of the others. Andy even had the early bootleg “Great White Wonder” comprised of clips form Dylan’s original Basemant Tapes and old recordings from his Minnetsota days. Andy loved bootlegs and bootleggers. He collected everything he could that was pirate vinyl. It was less an obsession to collect everything some artist had ever done, than it was the curiosity to see how that artist had done anything on any particular day. Andy’s record shelf took up an entire line of milk crates across the back wall. Not only one line, but stacks of them atop stacks of them. The Berkeley Farms Dairy Co. would have had an interesting time of it, had they ever chosen to submit Andy to the “Full Prosecution of Law” stamped as a threat on every plastic carrying case.
     That is, if they ever got past Andy’s front gate in the first place.
     Derrol thought it would be better to spend a little time with Pippi than it would be to just take off, after all, Pippi was dear to his heart, in his own way, and even her heimlat boyfriend could not compare, he thought, with all the wild romance he could conjure… being as he was himself a romantic half-outlaw perched on the precarious shoal of the Great Frontier Western Earthquake Coast.
     Andy was playing some of that Dylan record on the stereo, now. Listening to Dylan rasp about a Room 118 in New Orleans and climbing over a barbed wire fence. Pippi was arguing with Andy about Dylan and saying she loved Blood On the Tracks, why was Andy wasting his time with all these old demos? Andy rebutted her saying that anything Dylan did was going to be tons better than most of the crap coming off the radio and that this was a piece of history itself. Pippi disagreed. She felt that the music an artist released meant he felt it passed his own muster. Dylan had never released any of the Basement Tapes because the recordings just weren’t quality. She knew what she was talking about, but, Andy being the dominant male of the house, Andy usually got the last word. Pippi sulked but turned aside and began making out with Derrol. Derrol much preferred that to sitting in the center of another argument with Andy, when in this case, he acually agreed with Pippi.
     Next came the issue of the weekend orgies, and Andy trying to hint to Derrol that if he came back next week, there might be another one. Orgies, he pontificated, are the best fun people can have with their clothes off. What is more, all the party materials are free, since the particpants are already equipped. While Andy continued on this line, there came a yelling and screeching from the room Sandra and Lori shared. Soon they were running from the room, out onto the concrete patio, and within minutes they both had corralled Jock-O and hauled him inside.
     “This frigging peeper! We caught him checking us out through our window!”
     Jock-O was blushing and had little to say. He had been walking outside the house and caught a brief glimpse of female skin, and had come closer to their window and peered in, as Sandra sat nude atop Lori’s face, he pulled back, but not before Sandra had caught a view of his eyes turning aside, and his pale skin showing flush against the window glass.
     “What do we do with the sexist peeping Tom?” she yelled, “can’t he get his rocks off without intruding on us? I am pissed. He might be the landlady’s son but that does not give him the right to peep on us!” 
     Sandra was indignant and began throwing garments from the clothes pile at Jock-O. Jock-O just sat there, smiling, believing Andy would defend him.

     But it was Darcy who spoke out. 
     “Jock-O, you know, you really shouldn’t be so hung up about stuff. You should come to next weekend’s party, too. We’ll make sure… your needs… are considered…” 
     Darcy was always trying to be the voice of moderation and reconciliation.
     Derrol gave Pippi a hug, and as they walked out together to the patio, he told her he’d be visiting her in Santa Cruz within a month or two. As they walked talking along the driveway leading out to the street, that led to the highway, Derrol could hear the continued screams and screeching of Sandra as once more the argument escalated inside. He was glad he had chosen the right moment to depart. Pippi handed him his pack and pulled him close to her and gave him another kiss, then turned, and walked back to the house, as the sun was setting to the west, and Derrol adjusted to the idea and necessity of thumbing down a ride headed south.
     A red Cadillac convertible pulled itself over to the shoulder, blaring Johnny Horton’s Battle of New Orleans. Derrol recognized the driver. It was Angelo Spoonful, on his way to LA, he told Derrol, to become a studio musician. Angelo wore a long ponytail and shades. Derrol grinned and tossed his pack and mandolin onto the rear seat, already holding Angelo’s guitar case flat against the naugahyde cushion.
     Angelo and Derrol did not have a long time to talk before Highway 92 and Derrol’s stop had come up. He told Derrol to say hello to Sandra the next time he saw her. Angelo had been a frequent visitor to the Tarantula House at the time when Sandra had been his girlfriend, and when Sandra had been more interested, as she put it, “in men”. Angelo would travel on down the Coast Highway until he hit LA and from there, would keep on going in a world Derrol hardly made. For the moment, Derrol was happy to be kickin’ it, and played a farewell chorus of “Deal” for Angelo as the Cadillac disappeared off into the growing darkness. Once he had crossed the highway and found a good turnoff spot by the side of 92 he took up his thumbing again, punctuating each passing car with a strummed major chord.
     The peyote had cleansed him, the large stash of hash reassured him, the cameraderie had uplifted him, the surroundings encouraged him, and he was, all in all, gratified to be alive and young.